Perhaps we are apologizing for things that simply require grace.

I was out at a salad bar today. Just grabbing a quick lunch and after I paid, the woman handed me my utensils, a cup for water, my plastic salad container, and my dressing cup. She also gave me a large plastic bag to carry everything in.

I headed over to the bar, and another woman was on the other side. I juggled my purse, the tray and other items gently as I built my salad. I didn’t notice that when I’d gotten to the end of the bar, the woman had made her way to my side and was patiently waiting for me to move my tray and belongings out of the way.

I apologized. “I’m sorry.” I quickly moved my things out of the way.

She said, “Don’t be, it’s a lot to handle.”

She too had a large purse, a drink, etc.

Those words jumped out at me.

Not “It’s a lot…”

But “Don’t be.”

I used to apologize a lot.

A college teacher once said that saying “please, thank you, or I’m sorry” in business is a sign of weakness. I remember thinking how ridiculous that sounded. That common courtesy was no longer needed.

I understand the premise, but I still think it’s ridiculous.

I do however think that sometimes it is easy to apologize when it really isn’t necessary. Sometimes, I replace “I’m sorry” with “excuse me.” Maybe it is the same, but it feels different.

It is ok to learn to stop apologizing for being overwhelmed, juggling a lot…a lot.  

Why apologize for feeling overwhelmed?

Apologizing for not moving fast enough, doing enough, being enough.

I ask myself, what would it feel like to replace apology with grace?

Grace to move slowly when needed.

Grace to give ourselves room to breathe when we are carrying heavy loads.

Grace when we make mistakes and aren’t doing everything perfectly.

To take a breath and recognize that maybe I’m sorry isn’t always for others, but sometimes it is for and to ourselves.

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